The Seizure
“I am touched like no other. What have you taken from me, when I never asked for it? Why didn’t you ever leave me alone when you don’t even know me?”
“But I do know you and that is why I have taken your heart to protect it when you cannot. Unfortunately, you are weak and loveable, you are feeble but drenched in a light that is unknown and easy to follow. I have to do this so that we can continue smiling like we do. I cannot give it back, but I can make you believe that you have still control over what you feel, when, in fact, you do not. I don’t care how you feel about it, as long as you remain by my side.”
What she said made sense, and what he made did not make sense, so he nodded appreciatively thanks to the words he had listened to. But he still missed the heart with he had given so much love. He still felt it. It seemed like a joke, but it was actually an illusion, withering through the guts making itself known again and again, in a sad state of affairs. This he knew intellectually, but it was not anything he could actually prove or feel. In fact, he felt the opposite: that he had never been happier or more beautiful or more desired.
“If you lose it, then what will be of me? I will die, and I will never experience happiness again or feel anything. It can be squeezed to, out of everything until nothing is left. Just left to be dried, forgotten, if I am not careful.”
“What you have to do is stop worrying, because it can be rebuilt if you give it enough time. This one is for me, and me only, and I can do whatever I want. I have bitten it already, I have tasted its doubting flesh, its insecure, malleable nerves. It is horrible, but because it is from you, I take it, and cherish it.”
“But it won’t be the same. It won’t be the same if I help it be reborn. I want to be always like this, even if it makes me miserable. I cannot change, I am afraid.”
“There is no choice and no greater threat. You are ready to suffer and you will like it, eventually. You will understand. However, you will never forgive me, that much is true, if this truly ever ends.”
Though he heard the words and in his thoughts they made him feel horrible, in his shaking hands, he was feeling an excitement building. A beauty emanated from her, a piercing eye and an honest one, a delicate sigh that promised much, and so, and many, and utterly, and though he was getting stabbed with every kiss, he allowed it to continue. His heart, so far away and taken and shriveled, cried in despair, but his body, simply laughed tenderly, for he loved her, he loved her like he never thought possible. She kissed him and it was such a beautiful moment, though he immediately forgot it, for he had only felt it.
