Let Me Go

What do you accomplish with this notion, with this thought of yours, so absolutely unequivocal? I carry a burden like few others and every day, every night, I face plant to the ground, get on my knees, and suck the succulent juices of my god, touched by grace and divine providence, so that I can repent, regret, forget, and then live again. I protect with my gun and I carry my sword, I swing it across and slap you across the face, then I dance to the tune of the grave of the criminal that has misbehaved. Do you know who I am and what I need? Have you ever considered the needs of my hand, which twitches every hour, if it cannot beat, punch, blow, hit, and strangle? You’ve done the unthinkable, I am but a small creature who rides, and rides in the dead of night, with few things to prove but my own strength. But do you respect me? Do you love and venerate me? Can you bow in my presence, hurry off in fear if I approach, scurry off to hide if I laugh, whine incessantly if I appear, and appear troubled when I point in your general direction? What? Again, I have to tell you that I am a person of few words, but I am just like you, and like everyone else, but I have the power to live and let others live, and I do it at my own discretion.

I protect and live for that purpose, and some might have to die for that purpose, and if I shoot to kill, and if I rape to save, and if I do nothing and investigate nothing, and go nowhere, and feel everything, I must say, without any sense of guilt, that you can learn to live with me, as I will learn to live with you. You can fear me if that is enough, and I can carry you around, like I’m doing now, and crack your skull, and punch your gut, and tase your mouth, and write a sonnet about the pain that it caused me. Can you do that for me, though? Can you give me the empathy that I so crave and nobody gives me? I’ll fabricate if I have to. Go on and run and tell your friends that the blood in you has been given and received and I’ll pray for your salvation every minute of your day. Run in zigzag, and I’ll practice my best shot, and if you ever wonder how much it hurts to exist and be hated, when all you do is a greater good, then have a look at me, and think about how your hatred affects me. I will die to do everything to protect. Protect what? Protect what I’m told to protect and kill who I’m told to kill, for that is the greater purpose, and whoever that is, will be someone who is stronger than you. Can you be stronger for me? For everyone like me? Then I will love you and worship you and do what you want, and kill who you want.

Run, run, and don’t come back. You won’t come back, I can already see it in your body. What are your hands, they looked bundled, and your body tense. I’m sensing danger in you, perhaps, a danger to my life. So, I can adequately respond, and follow along the path from where you threaten me to the end of your life.