Forsake

There is no need to worry, I will take care of you. Abandon you? Leave you? Never, as long as you stay close to me, I cannot physically leave. I’ll drag you out in the streets if I have to, and there we can remain, under bridges and stones, living, a homeless union where one is bounded to the other.

I accept your offer but you not only have to promise to never let me go, you must never think it. You must understand how I feel when you are not with me, and what I will do if you are not near. I will go to all the lengths and widths of the planet looking for you. What can you do then if you ever wish something different?

Different, when we are so fated to be nothing but a pair of entwined freaks, joined by the faces, attached in heart and mind? The only thing I can say is that there are some things that are inevitable no matter how much one tries to fight it. I have known it for a long time and have finally found a way to think enough to figure out what that means. I know that we are chained not only to each other, but to a concept.

The concept? The concept of what?

Just things in general, of what are things together. A construction that has been determined by other things, forces beyond, so you have gathered them all through the media, through the words you’ve read, and decided you wanted the very same thing for yourself. You found me and now here I am, very willing, and very weak to say no to nothing.

Let us go, let’s continue to where we need to go and remember that I cannot let you go.

How could I forget? I am in no way telling you to leave me alone nor am I telling you that I will go. I just want you to be very aware of the situation you and I are in. What binds us is not the same nor is it reciprocal. Understand that you will never understand me and that is fine. I have a reason to stay, beyond what I’ve told you, and you will never know what it is. But I will stay. And you will live that.

That’s unfair and cruel. Am I supposed to be happy? Feel complete and full of happiness? That you oh so magnanimously decided to be with me, to never leave my side while using those words? That you hate me so?

Hate is enough, sometimes. Love is only hate to its lowest depths, so the very same feeling that pumps in my veins, just in a different direction, with a different objective.

Evil! Petty! Ass! What else should I call you? Pretending something you are not.

Pretending? I am being very honest.

That honesty is the worst part about you.

But you still hold me, you see. Our dance continues even though we only have three legs. Come on, let us dance. And enjoy something. We have something whatever you call it.

Love and forgiveness, something that cannot be explained.

Call it that then and be satisfied or leave.

I will never leave.

I know.