Epitaph

“When I die, I want my tombstone to say the following ‘We are waiting for tomorrow’ in big, shiny, gold letters all across it.”

“That’s the greatest idea ever, madam, very, very good. Incredible. Don’t you think?” Rob said.

“I agree, nothing could top that,” Bob said.

“Wait, I just thought of something else. My epitaph should be, instead, ‘We can’t understand a world that has created us to die’ so people can come to mourn me and think. Is it great or what?”

“Great? No, it’s magnificent! Never heard a more enthralling thought in my life,” Bob said.

“How your mind works, how it all works, it surprises me to no end,” Rob said.

“Now that I’m thinking this more thoroughly, I am not sure if people want to feel sad when they visit my decaying corpse. At least, not completely. Let me think of something else… I’ve got it… ‘We are free until we open our eyes’. Just thought of it, right now. Pretty neat, huh?”

“Yes, incredible, miss. It is amazing, thought-provoking, laugh out loud funny, riveting, splendid, an action sized pack for the whole family,” Rob said.

“Beautifully beautiful, amazingly amazing, wonderful wonder, creatively creative, awesomely awesome awesomeness, and good” Bob said.

“It does feel a little bit stiff, though. I am just thinking of something else. ‘We destroy what we should but never what we can.’ But I-

“Grreeeeat, gr-gr-gr-gr-gr-great!” Rob said.

“AH! AH! YEAH! THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!” Bob said.

“-don’t think it means anything. I’m getting tired of thinking so much. I’ll just tell you one more and we can work on what we have. Let’s see… ‘Workers of the world, fun tonight!’ I think I like that one the most.”

“Impossible that a human mind thought this. Magnificent,” Bob said.

“I love you, I love you,” Rob said.

“Or maybe we can put them all up at the same time, you know? And people can choose the one that suits their situation best in a rotating style hanging in a cylinder.”

“I agree, of course, madam,” Rob said.

“Of course, I agree too,” Bob said.

After they had agreed, they pushed her off the tall building where they were talking and she plunged to her almost death, since she only broke 99% of her beck (what actually caused her death was a small crate that fell from a plane and hit her head).

Bob and Rob stayed with all of her many money and threw parties in her honor, then on their honor for her honor, then on their honor, then on their honor again, and on and on until they lost all of their million-dollar fortune in pointless alcohol-lacking parties. When they died of poverty, they were buried next to the woman with the rotating epitaphs and copied some of her phrases for their deaths as well. But nobody ever cared or visited any of the three tombstones because nobody ever felt like reading friendless, wasteful, pointless person’s departing words engraved in material that one will be gone, all gone, as well.